insanity.

"insanity is relative.




it depends on who has who locked in what cage."

-- ray bradbury.

funny people.

i surround myself


with hilarious people.


proof:






"life is a river.  and sometimes, a royal b-slap comes floating down that river." -- chris.


daniel: "hey, how come we never get reggie [the dog] any presents for christmas?"
dad: "because he doesn't believe in God."


"do you think you could suck on someone's eye socket so hard that it pops their eye out?" -- chris.


"well, i suppose mickey mouse IS bald..." -- jan.


liz: "i haven't been kissed in...wow, over a year."
ashley: "we need to find you a chew toy."


"utero.  that's a good bad guy name.  and his special power is that he spits afterbirth at you." -- chris.


"nothing like a creepy guy to drive you back to the one you didn't appreciate before."  -- melia.


"when i grow up, i want to be a freelance bikini waxer." -- chris.


ben: "you brought a tuxedo?"
corbett: "of course i did.  what do you think i am, a farmer?"


"i concussed a goose.  they woke me up during surgery and were like, "we need to see how hard you can hit" and they gave me a goose." -- chris


"eh.  it's not my cup of steeze." -- ben.


"40 bucks??  that won't even pay for one firework at my funeral!!" -- braxton.


jordan: "i gotta pee."
jon: "go pee your heart out!"
jordan: "ugh, that would be worse than a kidney stone."
chris: "nope.  hearts are more malleable."


"don't kill the bug!  it could die if you kill it!!" -- a first grader i worked with once.


corbett: "i'm gonna shave your face with this lighter."
ben: "i've done that!"


"braxton's mom knows the patronus spell, and she can chase away dementors!  her patronus is a slowpoke.  or maybe a dewgong.  DEWGONG.  ICE BEAM." -- chris.


"did you know that if you plant a turd, you'll grow a papaya tree?" -- lindsay.


kyle: "i want some almond milk."
liz: "how do you milk an almond??"
corbett: "what, like you've never milked an almond?"


"am i the only one that has a moltres in their wallet?" -- ben.


"ps: you guys haven't given me any money lately.  this friendship is going nowhere." -- chris.


"when i was little, i thought your bosom was your butt.  so i always got really confused when the scriptures said you get a burning in your bosom." -- brenna.


jon: "liz, i could never marry you."
liz: "what??  i would be a ballin' wife, you know that!!"
rob: "a bawling wife?"


"look, i'm a sexy gargoyle!" -- jon.


liz: "how the heck did this movie earn a sequel?"
chris: "it probably ends in a sea of boobs.  that's the only explanation."


"this road is bumpy.  like an asteroid field." -- corbett.


"there are two kinds of people in this world.  those who see alan rickman and think, 'snape'!  and those who look at him and think, 'hans gruber'!  i prefer the second type." -- braxton.


"kiss my ring.  not the ring on my hand, you are not worthy.  kiss my toe ring." -- chris.


kyle: "how did mary poppins get her powers?"
corbett: "she was a prostitute that had relations with a wizard."


"when in doubt, be a champ; like me." -- brenna.


liz: "a tickle tickle tickle!"
chris: "a slappy slappy slap!"


"stop it, or you won't get your birthday!!" -- a first grader i worked with once.


liz: "you're full of crap!"
lindsay: "everyone is full of crap."
chris: "not me.  i clear my colon every hour."


"there's a creature in my hot fudge!!  i have to blog about this..." -- lindsay.


"my humor is like a fine wine.  people have been known to get drunk on my jokes." -- chris.


liz: "oh no!  reggie [the dog] just kicked over the pile of folded clothes!"
dad: "tattletale."


"you can't spell turd without u." -- chris.


"i think we should start a secret society where if anyone says elmo, we punch them in the kidneys super hard." -- braxton.


liz: "you guys can't say that brad pitt is sexy!  you're all straight!!"
chris: "as in, i'm headed straight for the next boy i see!"


liz: "i wonder why mulan climbed out of her blankets when she was wearing that bandage.  such a bad idea."
lindsay: "shang, i have two good reasons for you to send me home."


"i don't have enough middle fingers to tell you exactly how that made me feel." -- rhonda-lady.


"is that guy naked or is he just wearing khaki colored everything?" -- chris


"liz, i don't know how you're going to write everything funny that i say on your blog.  i'm like...a witbox.  i'm a box of wit." -- kyle.








i can pretty much guarantee that more will follow.


my friends and my family are stinking funny.


obviously.

words.

"you know the one thing
you're fighting to hold








will be the one thing
you've got to let go."






thank you, mutemath.

of course that link leads you to a music video.

what did you expect?  :}

happy vamlumtime's day.

kami-con according to ashley.

just as i expected,


ashley did a 


lovely job 


of showcasing 


our incredible time at kami-con!






click




HERE




to see!!

i just...

...really love this article.




it is by someone named




stephen christian.




the lead singer of anberlin [my most favorite band in all of everything] is named




stephen christian




and i really want it to be him.

buuuuuut...




i could be wrong.




either way,




i like this article.

truth.

if the other planets are inhabited,




they must be using this earth






as their insane asylum.

--george bernard shaw

new mantra.

this 

is the true joy in life;

the being used for a purpose 

recognized by yourself

as a mighty one;

the being 

thoroughly worn out

before you are 

thrown on the scrap heap;

the being a 

force of Nature

instead of a 

feverish

selfish

little clod 

of

ailments

and grievances

complaining 

that the world

will not devote itself

to making you

happy.

--george bernard shaw.

hearts.

"love anything 

and your heart will be wrung and possibly 

broken.

if you want to make sure of keeping it intact 

you must give it to no one, 

not even an animal.

wrap it carefully round 


with hobbies and little luxuries; 

avoid all entanglements. 

lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

but in that casket--


safe, 
dark, 
motionless, 
airless--

it will change. 

it will not be broken; 






it will become 




unbreakable,
impenetrable, 










irredeemable. 

to love is to be vulnerable."

-- clive staples lewis

images via weheartit.